How we Wrote our Family Days Out in London June 18 2013

Family days out in London can be wonderful. And expensive. In our books, wonderful is a good thing. But expensive is not a good thing. We asked a bunch of people to write to us about some of the favourite things to do in London with their kids, and have posted these up here on the site for you in the hope of giving you some wonderful, but not expensive, options. BUT, we weren't satisfied with just doing that...

So we decided WE needed to write you some one day themes itineraries for family days out in London. Educational and fun. But not from our tall grown-up perspective. So in an industry first, we brought a group of Amazonian blue pygmies from Brazil, (we rowed across the Atlantic so as not to increase our carbon emissions - they rowed back slowly while we feasted on bolinhas de arroz and feijoada), dressed them up as children (except less cute), body-painted them in pigments less blue and more pink, and sent them around London in search of days out to remember. When they came back, we gave them the finest English language education money could buy, and presented them with custom-built mini laptops made with keyboards small enough for gnome fingers. And then we asked them to write for us a number of themed days out in London for families that we could share with you as one day itineraries.

They did such a wonderful job that we asked them to also write us a book on how to keep kids amused while travelling. Plane games. Hotel lobby games. Restaurant games. In fact, over 100 games kids could play anywhere while away from home. We thought a book written by short people should have a long name to compensate, so we called it “How to fool your kids into having fun so you can – travel games without gadgets”. And we’re going to give it away to you for free.

Giving their hard work away, sadly, does undermine Amazonian blue pygmies’ self-worth, so in return, please provide us with your name and email address so that we can pass on your thanks directly to them, and help them build up some of the confidence and self-esteem that being small and blue has naturally denied them.

As for the itineraries they wrote, you can buy them for less than the price of a slice of Pizza. Especially a slice of London pizza. The itineraries are that cheap because a slice of pizza will feed a family of Amazonian blue pygmies for 4 years and 11 months - they only have tiny stomachs, you know. By the time you’ve made it a four-cheese pizza, you’ve loaded them up with enough calories to climb some very un-pygmy-like trees in the Amazon. Seems like a fair trade (though we’ve not yet applied for Fairtrade status). A couple of slices of pizza for our writers, fun family days out in London for you. We think that’s more than a fair exchange. We hope you’ll agree. Get their eBook, or buy an itinerary (you'll get the eBook with your order).

Fill in your details and get a copy of the book

Do it for the blue pygmy...